*Shadow Work *Spirituality *Intuition - Giving and Receiving, still a work in progress.

Kate, my beautiful Reiki practitioner, had spirit mention that I should get the book “The Secret Language of Your Body” during one of our sessions a little while back. I purchased the book and have been blown away reading it. This is a book that has many illnesses and/or specific body parts mentioned and shows you reasons why you have the condition. Remember, I was the over-giver who thought she was not good enough and felt unsupported. (note I consciously used the past tense in that sentence!!). This is what the book states, ie the parts that relate to me perfectly, being that my Scleroderma is affecting Lungs, Oesophagus, Immune System and Hands.

“Lungs - Propensity to put other peoples’ needs and desires first and overdo things until you run out of breath”.

“Oesophagus - Difficulty in asking for what you need or desire. Thinking that you are second best.”

“Immune System - Self-Neglect, stress. Allowing people to take advantage of you. Not knowing how to say no. Feeling neglected and unloved. Overloading yourself.”

“Hands - Helping hands want to help everybody in need but sometimes don’t look after themselves.”

Freaky!!! That all fits perfectly!!!

The giving-receiving thing has again been in my awareness recently. The concept of giving without needing to receive anything sounds like a no brainer but has its challenges. A dear friend Kris Geotz who is a life coach and runs seminars, recently told me a metaphorical story that someone shared with her. It goes something like this:

“When you are born you are given a basket with two coins in it. As you move through life you earn more, or lose coins, depending on how you act. You earn more coins, when you do good deeds. You lose coins when you do bad deeds. A twist is, if you have done lots of good deeds for one person. Then you ask that person for help only once, and they decline (lets say, because they do not feel like it). In this situation you could only keep the coins you had previously earned if you do not get upset that they are not going to help you.”

It’s tricky and has caught me. The issue is, even if you think you are giving freely, and without strings attached, it is hard to ascertain how you will feel in the future if certain events unfold.

Then there is my continuation of the story. If you get through all of that happily, and do not regret helping them. You are also not concerned that they refuse to help you when you ask. All coins safe till this point. How are you supposed to behave if they ask you for help again? How are you supposed to forget that they would not help you in your time of need? If you decline to help them again do you lose your coins because you were clearly only doing something conditionally? If you do help them, are you not just a doormat?

Well, don’t read here for an answer…. I have not got one yet. I’ll consider this post a prayer to the Universe to help me understand all of this better.

During a recent Reiki session with Kate I was a bit down due to the perceived slowness of my recovery. It came thought to Kate that I still had blockages in receiving. I stated, “makes sense to me, I buy lottery tickets but don’t win anything”. Kate gave me homework, to lie down daily with palms facing up and ask spirit to practise Reiki on me while I meditated ie I would be the receiver of Reiki.

Ah, the palms up thing again, I remembered that from Kris when she mentioned 12 month ago “when holding hands in a spiritual circle, you need to have one hand palm up and the other one palm down to represent the balance of giving and receiving”. Now the synchronicity, I had not seen Kris for a year, and was having her over for lunch approximately 1.5 hours after the session where Kate mentioned “palms up”. I love how the Universe shows you things at the right time, so you will take notice.

I did Kate’s homework that night and then the following morning. I even found a meditation on receiving that I liked, then….., guess what…… - I won $250 on Powerball that night!!!!!!

I cheekily tried to calculate out how many meditations would be required to manifest a 50 Million Powerball win, but don’t think there is a formula for that. No poor reflection on my bookkeeping abilities here.

All I can say is the energy must be moving in the right direction! So I keep on going!