*Purpose *Support *Intuition *Spirituality *Shadow Work - Trust Yourself!!!
As I travel along this journey I generally follow synchronicities to guide me to the where I need to proceed next. I have however sometimes followed a suggestion of a friend ie “you should see this person, they are incredible”. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. I have been seeing a guy recently who I was put onto by a work colleague. There was no synchronicity but I decided to go. He had developed a system where he talks to spirit and says he can accelerate the clearing of issues, if they are ready to be cleared. I have no doubt that he is highly evolved and I received some real value from seeing him at first.
Initially we were working on why I get so extremely upset when I had given and given to various people over the years and they then, in my opinion, treat me poorly. Why I felt so angry and hurt when one of these friends behaved in a way that I considered completely unacceptable. He helped me to see that my giving was still ego based. It came down to the fact that I did not feel worthy and so have unconsciously given and given because that would surely make me worthy as a friend or colleague. Then, when I felt abandoned or ill treated by the person, I was like a vengeful demon, close to frothing at the mouth. “How could they do XYZ because I had given so much to them.”
There were a few factors that needed to be healed. The change in my belief of my worthiness without having to give anything and the understanding that giving has to be done without any expectation of reward (in my case the reward was them appreciating and valuing me - validating me as a worthy person). With his help a lot of this has been cleared now.
Then recently, while on holidays, we did a session over the phone. I talked about my fear that I was sabotaging my path / purpose. I had not written in ages and I had fallen off the wagon and was eating poorly and drinking a bit of alcohol for about a 3 or 4 week period. The diet and drinking were not conducive to healing myself. He mentioned that at one stage he believed he was going to be a writer, but it wasn’t his path. He was then asking me questions like “Why do you think that you are going to be a writer?”. I had briefly explained all the spiritual guidance / connection / synchronicities over the years, but I felt very uncomfortable. I felt doubt in his voice. It made me stumble on my words, which made it probably seem even less real to him. Without asking he used his crystal on a string and asked spirit “Is Irene’s path writing…..ok.… no, is Irene’s path some kind of energy work…. ok…. yes”. I didn’t show it in my voice but I was devastated. The rug had been completely ripped out from under me with that one quick statement.
We then spoke a bit about relationships with family members but I really just wanted to get off the phone. I had so many questions in my head. Surely spirit would not rip away 7 years of writing from me like that? Surely this man wouldn’t have the power, given by spirit, to do that? Or was he correct and was I on the wrong path, again directed by ego, and not true purpose… and was he the one that was sent by spirit to enlighten me? What was with all the synchronicities then? It didn’t make sense to me. He had been so right on the first subject but this all just felt so utterly wrong.
I got off the phone and burst into tears. I was in a one bedroom apartment near Port Macquarie in NSW by myself. Jason and Timmy were out and about, leaving me alone for my phone appointment. I felt so devastated and confused. Through the tears I decided to draw a few cards (which luckily I brought with me). These were the cards:
First card from - Alana Fairchild Kali Oracle
“… the Faery of Aspiration have ganged up on you. They are creating cracks in your ideas about yourself so that the light of truth may shine in. Mirrors jump out at us with unexpected reflections. The trick is learning to distinguish the distorted reflections of others’ masks of untruth from the clear reflection of the Mask of Truth. Beware of the reflections that others cast upon you and look within your own truth. Whenever someone says, “Oh, you are so….” stop and ask yourself is this really true. It might just be their stuff, their projections and have nothing to do with you at all”
Second card from The Faeries Oracle Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth
“Divine child with wisdom beyond her years, the old soul with deep knowing, dwells within our hearts. She urges you to commit to your most passionate inspirations, completely and without hesitation. There are genius and wisdom in what you yearn to do. You have a greater capacity to attain fruition than those around you recognise. Believe in yourself, even if no-one else does! It is not imagination that drives you toward your destiny, but an instinctive recognition of your true purpose. Validation from others will come later. Your path is authentic, and you are destined to succeed.”
It has become clear to me now. Everything comes from within! Others will be around to support you. You may get bits and pieces from other spiritual parties along you way. You won’t get everything from one person. The question is: Does it resonate with you? Always remember that the person giving you information is also human and sometimes their responses to you can be unknowingly tainted by their own experience and feelings. How do you feel about what they are saying? Also remember than no human, no matter how spiritual, has been put on this planet to guide you in every aspect of your life. Look within!